Turner, Joseph Mallord William; Chichester Canal; Tate; http://www.artuk.org/artworks/chichester-canal-202367
When we look for scandal in Sussex, dear reader, few of us feel the need to go beyond the mighty edifice that a certain princely gentleman is erecting on the shores. Visitors to that – can we call it a building? Palace, rather! – a blend of Mughal, Chinese and Gothic such as the world has never seen. Visitors, I say, vary in their descriptions, some praising the oriental-influenced decor and the extravagent excess of the exterior, while some call it laughable. The essayist William Hazlitt is unimpressed:
“The Pavilion at Brighton is like a collection of stone pumpkins and pepper boxes. It seems as if the genius of architecture had at once the dropsy and the megrims. Anything more fantastical, with a greater dearth of invention, was never seen.”
However, our topic today is not the Brighton Pavilion. Indeed, the scandals (for they are plural, dear reader) take place some distance from the popular seaside resort, in and around a certain village that shall remain nameless to protect the guilty and innocent alike. Beneath the surface of this serene and lovely landscape, tensions swirl, treachery lurks, passions burn, and all kind of criminals seek to take advantage of the innocent.
Let this newspaper give you just a taste of what we are talking about! And keep in mind that, as well as smugglers and ghosts, the countryside also harbours at least two highwaymen, some spies, and possibly even a Fennian or two!
Is the young baronet from Yorkshire really contemplate a match with the tallest woman in the district? The poor lady has enough to contend with – a neighbour wants her land and her hand in marriage, and there are smugglers about.
Will the young widow in the Rose cottage be frightened away by the ghost? And is it really a ghost? Or someone playing a trick? And what is such a young widow doing living alone, except for the most peculiar housekeeper we have ever seen?
Another widow – the war has scattered the poor creatures across the countryside – also faces scandal, after a very handsome officer is seen calling upon her. Are wedding bells in the air, or does the man have more nefarious plans?
A wealthy spinster with scandal in her past might be expected to attract the wrong sort of attention, but is the young man who is clearly pursuing her after her kisses? Or something more?
The earl’s brother cannot truly be interested in the curate’s daughter can he? They clearly share secrets. And where does the man go when he rides out in the middle of the night? Does he have a mistress? Or even more unacceptable habits?
It is said that the fine lady who visits the schoolteacher is sister to an earl. What, then, does she want with such a person as a country schoolteacher? One, furthermore, who has already been claimed by the butcher’s daughter.
When Lord C. married Lady C., the whole world predicted disaster. Everyone knows her family was on the brink of ruin until he rescued them. And now the lady is meeting strange men at out-of-the-way country inns!
Has a mysterious wounded soldier won the heart of Lady F.? And is he something other than he seems? Lady F.’s grandfather does not seem to be concerned. Does he know more than the rest of us?
Who is the lady who has been living in obscurity on the earl’s land? Is the French lady staying with the earl and his wife really her mother? Which of her two suitors will she choose?
A year ago, we predicted that the Earl of L. would propose to Lady J. C. But he moved away, and she is now being courted by someone else. Except that Lord L. is back, and appears determined to win her as his bride. Is he too late?
To find out all the juicy details, dear reader, buy Love’s Perilous Road, on preorder now, and published on 31 October.
Isabelle Carlton has loved the boy next door for as long as she can remember.