Dear Mr. S. Clemens,
As an American reader of your delightful column, I felt I had to write in and share ever such scandalous and shocking goings-on in the quiet and God-fearing town of Cedar Point, Massachusetts.
The rather unusual spinster, Miss Rowena Mumford, has always been under scrutiny. Not only does she possess considerable wealth, but she also insisted on attending college and living alone after her parents’ deaths. Her only companion is a large and mischievous black tomcat. Miss Mumford, although she doesn’t need to support herself, insists on teaching piano and French! She is corrupting the youth of our town with her love of “ragtime” and encouraging other young ladies to seek out higher education! But this is not the most shocking accusation!
It seems Miss Mumford has actually devised a contest to weed through her many suitors, including the rich and eligible Matthew Raine. She let it be known that any man who could put a bell around the neck of her cat, Tiger, could court her! The entire town is awash with men sneaking down alleys, toting nets, and dangling pieces of fish to tempt the big brute!
One man seems immune, but then again, Mr. Augustus Warwick, piano tuner and confectioner, is very eccentric. He seems to like Miss Mumford and her cat—but makes no attempt to woo her or to bell her fearsome feline. (Yet rumor has it that he has been over to Miss Mumford’s house several evenings to “tune her piano.”)
The Christian ladies of the parish have decreed that Rowena Mumford ought to be married by summer, and that means a spring engagement must occur! The town is taking sides in this madness, with most assuming Matthew Raine will sort out his rival, Mr. Warwick. What does Miss Mumford say about all of this?
Not a word, Mr. Clemens, not a word! She barely acknowledges the strange attempts to catch and bell her cat. Some have long suspected her of witchcraft. I myself wonder what her secret could be—but I know there is a secret indeed!
I’d be ever so delighted if your readers could advise your American neighbors on how to handle this scandal!
Anonymously Yours,
A Concerned Congregant of St. Clementia’s
About Belling the Tigress: Rowena Mumford has the eye of every single man in quiet Cedar Point, Massachusetts. Her beauty and fortune outweigh her mischievous black cat, Tiger, and the murmurs of witchcraft that surround her. Tired of pointless suitors, Rowena states the man who can place a bell around Tiger’s neck may woo her. Soon, all of Cedar Point is hoping for a spring engagement!
Augustus Warwick, a dreamer who owns the local sweet shop, believes he has no chance of winning Rowena’s heart. The eccentric confectioner is too busy trying to perfect a new confection before Easter Sunday. But Tiger has taken a shine to his shop, and Augustus has taken a shine to Miss Mumford. Will he be able to win her heart—and will he want it once he learns her secret?
About M. Culler: Bestselling author M. Culler can’t stick to just one genre. She writes fantasy, mystery, and all flavors of romance. M.Culler lives in historic Chester County, Pennsylvania, where potentially haunted battlegrounds and 18th century buildings serve as neverending inspiration. M.Culler lives for her two brilliant children (mini-bookworms), her gorgeous husband, her endlessly entertaining students, and her wonderful community. If she’s not hunched over a laptop, you’ll find her baking up a storm in the kitchen, playing board games, or watching Brit Coms.
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